Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Bus Gump's Mixtape or Goosesteppin' with the Gump

First of all, please pray for Bus Gump's mom.  He told me that she is having surgery today because she has uteran cancer.  He said that she is having a hysterectomy.  Knowing Gump, this may or may not be true, but please pray for her regardless.  Maybe some good can come from his unknown fame.

At the Bus Stop
So Gump asks me if I'm going to read my book (A Dance with Dragons by George R.R. Martin) on the bus today.
BG: "Is it a spy book?"
Me: "No."
BG: "What is it about?"
Me: "Dragons."
BG: "Oh I love dragons.  Are they good dragons or bad dragons?"
Me: "I don't know yet."
BG: "What is happening right now in your book?"
I honestly didn't know what to say.  It is the 5th book in this series.  If you have watched Game of Thrones" on HBO, this is the latest book in that series.  It is like walking up to someone who is watching the 5th season of Lost when you have never watched Lost and saying what is happening right now.
Me: "Well' it is the 5th book in the series so it is really hard to explain"
BG: "Can you write down a list of the books so I can get them at the library?"
Me: "Sure"

On the Bus
I give Gump his list.  About 5 minutes later, he asks if he can sit with me.  He tells me about his mom, and then tells me that he doesn't feel well today.  He has stomach issues and "That other issue I told you about".  He thinks it may be from worrying about his mom.  He is thinking about skipping school that he can relax and get his mind off of things.
Me: "Oh, are you going to the hospital to see your mom?"
BG: "No, I can't go over there"
Me: "Oh, I see."
BG: "Can you bring me some books to borrow?  Long books.  I like long books, because I like words."
Me: "Sure.  What kind of books?"
BG: "Just surprise me.  Do you listen to a lot of music?"
Me: "Some"
BG: "Can you copy me some music?"
He proceeds to ask me if I like everything from Metallica (Yes) to Hatebreed (No) to U2 (Yes) to Surf Nazis (No) to Disturbed (Yes) to Slayer (No) to Widespread Panic (Um, yes).  He finally gets to the German death metal band, Rammstein.  If you are unfamiliar with them, they sing in German and the lead singer lights himself on fire.  Needless to say, not my cup of tea.
BG: "They sing songs about Hitler and Jews."
He stands up and does the Heil Hitler salute and sings some German words!
Me: "Whoa, guy.  Take it easy."
BG: "A lot of Germans still like Hitler."
Me: "Not the ones I know."
BG: "Why do people hate Jews?"
Me: "I don't know, man."
BG: "Why did Hitler hate Jews?"
Me: "Not sure.  He was actually part Jewish on his Mom's side."
BG: "I heard that his mom gave him syphilis.  Maybe that is why he hates Jews."
Me: "I don't know, man."
BG: "Make sure you bring me that music and those books tomorrow"

Holy crap!  That was the most uncomfortable bus ride ever.  He was talking so loud.  Everyone on the bus was staring.  Even Angry Bus Guy thought it was inappropriate.  Anyway, pray for Bus Gump's mom, because let's face it, even if Gump is lying about the Cancer, that woman still needs our prayers!  I'm just sayin'.

So, what should I put on Bus Gump's mixtape?  Please give me ideas in the comments below.  Personally, I think he needs a heavy dose of John Tesh followed up with a Kenny G chaser.


  1. Michael McDonald. *In best Michael McDonald voice* "Bus Gump gimpy magic!!"

  2. Noted. Thhose three should start a band.

  3. The Wheels on the Bus go round and round!


Comments welcome